Sunday

Todays Sunday.

I didnt get too much sleep last night. I survive on coffee and cigarettes, a diet Im sure my nan is proud of lol.

I talked to my brother this morning really early NZ time. Im sure I talked him to sleep. Its nice to be able to talk about your fears and insecurities with someone who understands, cause theyre in the same situation.

We talked about not knowing how to feel, what were going to do if nan dies (Ko said "Lose it") and I finally found out what happened.

They had just got home from my uncles 50th birthday. They had bought my mums baby home. My nan was in the kitchen warming up a bottle, my Aunty T was in the room with my other aunty, and baby was in the living room crying. Aunty T heard a crash, and a little while after, when baby was still crying, she went to investigate.

Nan was laying on the floor.

They called 111 and an ambulance came to pick her up.


Korrie said he was at his friends house when this all happened. The next day my cousin Pera came to their friends house, and asked Korrie what he was doing there. Korrie didnt understand. Pera took him outside and said Nan was in the hospital.

And off Korrie went to the hospital.

Im scared. I feel a shift in the world, like things arent going to be the same after yesterday. Im not sure how, but I just feel it in my bones. What I once knew to be home is im sure going to change.