Yeah I know Im slow and all, but....
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.
I've just realized that if I get married here, I don’t get to have the wedding I always wanted to have. Its not that I've obsessed over it since I was a kid, but its that there were always things that I thought were a given, like my dad walking me down the aisle, and wearing a dress.
I know If D and I get married here, on our own next year, that its just going to be the 2 of us. And that kinda sucks. No dress, no family, no
I guess it wouldn’t be so bad, but I already didn’t have a 21st, wedding was kinda the last thing left for me.
God I'm so sick of having to make these stupid sacrifices, and I'm so tired of always having to miss out on 5 things to get one thing. Its like taking 3 steps backwards and 2 steps to the side for every step forward. ITS SO FUSTRATING!!!
I'm already depressed because no one thought to get me a key when I turned 21, I deserve it don’t I? So much for thinking things are a right of passage.
And if I get married here, its going to be so cheesy to have a wedding, when were already married, and everyone already knows it. Its like going through the motions of it just for the hell of it.
UGH! This SUCKS.
posted by Me at 7:58 AM
1 Comments:
Babe, will you stop bashing yourself so much!!!
It was only a suggestion that you and D get married over there. Just to get you home faster and be with the rest of your family.
You can still have the wedding you have always wanted when you get home here.To have your dad walk you done the aisle and to wear a beautiful dress. This is all still here waiting for you. Just remember, when people get married in the temple,they also have a another wedding outside of the temple which they share with their family because they cant be at the first one.
Nobody will think it's cheesey, they would be only to happy to have you both home and sharing this special day with everybody. And although nan is not here in body, she is and will always be with you in spirit.
Like nan always said, things happen for a reason. And although we may not know that reason at first, it will eventually come to us.
But the final decision belongs to you and D.
Just dont be so hard on your self babe..
Love you always..Mum..
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