Freq Out

I threw a fit today.

The last straw for me was opening the fridge and everything in the door came crashing down to the ground. Mustard amongst a jar of pickles, and a ketchup bottle falling on my bare foot.

I kicked the lemonade bottle halfway up the hall with such a ferocity that I think it left a dent in the door and then screamed 'FUCK' as I stormed down the hall into the boys room, slammed the door and dove onto 'dads bed' and hid under the blankets in shame from my outburst.

I am so stressed out. I hardly ever freak like that, but I have too much on my plate at the moment. My heads all cloudy and I cant think about something other than my grandmother for more than a minute.

I have a doctors appointment tommorrow, hopefully ill get this whole womanly issue sussed out cos its driving me nuts. Its yet another problem in the long laundry list of problems on the "fix Kara" list.

My yankee friend Mark that lives in Mission Bay is heading home to Georgia this week cos his mums had a heart attack and has some serious blood clots. It was good to talk to him tonight. I cant help but feel guilty though, something happens to his family and he goes running home, something happens to mine and I freak out, and come up with an excuse as to why I cant go home.

Is someone running from their problems?


I know this is all going to catch up with me and drive me right over the edge, but for now its just too much to deal with. Im trying to do 5 things at a time, when I know I cant even do 1 at a time.

So slow down right? Easier said than done.

Man, Im such a sucker for punishment.